Undo Your Learning and Live from Knowing Instead
Being human is how we are designed to live.
It was 2:00 a.m. and I was wide awake, lying in a narrow bed inside a small room. The night creatures were in full song, chirping and singing to their own melody. The air was moist, heavy with humidity and sticky.
My thoughts were just as heavy, because I was half way around the world, wondering why I decided to travel to Bali. My body seemed to think it was still on Texas time, even though I had been here for four days.
I finally stood up and looked out the window, listening to the night’s symphony. For some reason, I began to experience my life in review — all the mistakes, missteps, and misery of six decades of living. That must have been it — I went to Bali the same year I turned 6–0.
As I stood at the window, I didn’t see the other buildings, or the trees, or the lush landscape. Instead, my vision turned inward and I felt the grief of an empty womb. The shadow of that loss still haunted me, even though I was the mother of a wonderful daughter.
What was wrong with me?
Sobs sprang from deep in my chest, unbidden and uncontrolled. I couldn’t do anything to stop them, so I held on while I was engulfed in a tsunami of sorrow. I gave into to the emotions rolling through me and…
