You have the opportunity to be better than you were just five minutes ago.
You have learned how to react to certain situations based on your past experiences. When someone criticizes you, for example, you may become defensive or withdrawn. If you are ready to learn how to grow instead of repeating old patterns, keep reading.
Integrate these 3 steps into your life and discover for yourself how to become a growth person.
Step 1 - Be Aware of Who You Are
As you move through the moments of your day, you can increase your awareness of who you are being by taking a mental step back.
The problem is that you may not have learned how to become aware of your emotions, which are energy-in-motion. You choose your emotions — they don’t choose you. It’s when you believe that you are that emotion that you are asleep to the fact that you chose it.
There is a simple technique to be aware in every moment. When you notice that you are in a sabotaging pattern, take a deep breath and step back mentally. It takes mindfulness to remember to ask these questions:
- Am I showing up authentically or am I looking through the lens of an old story?
- What are the opportunities for growth in this moment?
- How can I give what I want to receive?
Adjust accordingly, moment by moment.
When you know that you have been triggered by a limiting belief or story, use the Pattern Interrupt Breathing Technique.
Breathe in deeply for 4 seconds. Hold it for 4 seconds. Release for 4 seconds. Hold it out for 4 seconds.
It stops your nervous system from going into flight or fight mode. The adrenaline rush is lessened so you can respond instead of react. And when you respond to a situation or stimulus, you are closer to being in the moment, because the past is not guiding you.
Step 2 — Forgive your past.
Your past is not who you are now.
Your past experiences added to who you are now, but your past does not define you. Releasing old stories about your past frees you to become a growth person now. The way to release old stories is through forgiveness.
I learned forgiveness from an unlikely source. My dog, Joey. He is a wired-haired Dachshund and is attached to me, heart-to-heart. He follows me everywhere and sits at my feet, snoring softly as I work.
The size of Joey’s heart is not related to his body. His heart is so full of love that it spills over as he licks my hand (or bare feet or whatever skin happens to be within reach).
His unfailing love for me was tested one day when I didn’t see him lying down behind me. I was standing at my bathroom sink, getting ready for the day, when I turned and tripped over his long body, falling half-way to the floor.
I did not react well. I am embarrassed to say that I yelled at him, mostly from my own fear. The look in his eyes still sears my soul.
After I calmed down, I apologized. He instantly licked my hand and face, telling me it was O.K. No doubt, no hesitation, just instant forgiveness then love.
We could all learn to forgive that easily, in the moment.
Step 3 - Gratitude is the energy that changes your life.
Gratitude is the lubricant that attracts more of the same.
At the end of your day, sit for a few minutes and be grateful. For what you have, for what you did and for who you are. In this very moment.
As Melody Beattie described the power of gratitude:
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.
A Gratitude Journal is a wonderful tool to cultivate this practice. Try it for 30 days. Every night, before you climb into bed, write down 5 new things for which you are grateful. Each night, identify new people, situations or events that touched your heart or opened your mind.
As you look for ways to be grateful during the day, you will discover that you are surrounded by opportunities to express gratitude. Your past will begin to fade as you step into a growth mindset of becoming. Your attitude and perspective will shift and you will notice that there are more moments of happiness, joy, and fulfillment.
Follow the three steps and one day, you will look in the mirror and say to yourself, “Hello, growth person!”
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To learn more about being a growth person in your money relationship, please visit Empoweredway.com.